Free yourself from the limit you set for yourself. Don’t shut yourself in the coffin of your suffering. Shut your eyes and witness the universe inside of you unfolding, coming true as it should. Put down the hammer, and feel the teeming of that greater being you are, feel the shedding of the flesh, as it gives way to paradise.
We’re all masochist. Otherwise, why prolong this human suffering? The rag and bone of pain sits rooted in the veins for one who sits rooted in his pain. Many people’s identities are centered around their trauma. It’s a safety net of identity and the questions that lie beyond this trauma give rise to anxiety and fear of an unknown outcome, and, for most, stepping in to the unknown can be terrifying. This is what is meant by taking pleasure in pain.
All pain, I have come to observe, can dissolve in the sea of observation. And, you can only truly observe something if have your full concentration on it. This calls for presence, a dip in the play of time and space to see your problems for what they are: a necessary passing wind that stirs the ship further towards the awakening north star.
Realize that no one can share in your subjective reality therefore, however much you talk, write, garden away that prevalent feeling, as long as you do not decide for yourself that such is the reality of life, it shall smear the feeling of great injustice or bad lack to your every thought and action. Remove the loin off the mirror and see a reflection of being – greater than man. See the future you want and hold it in your mind.
When I retreat in to myself, I find everything I need to sustain me. Do not decay with the masses. The war that needs retreating is the war you defend with your mind against your mind. I’m pained with such thoughts, that we can merge so comfortably with self-destruction, that we can wear it like a shield and a badge and March comfortably into that dark night of blood and bones. I have read about the way we are killing ourselves. I have read about the dying of the trees and the melting of ice and have seen the red of the fire spontaneously light up leaving embers of destructive decisions laying on the desert ground. The smog paints my chest a new pair of lungs. Tomatoes the reddest now a bite to cancer land.
We drown and resurrect, under the ship wreck, in the belly of the sea of our problems, where the play of life and death is a painful tragedy that we circle back to over and over again. We enjoy our problems and despise ourselves so much for it that we ensure we don’t have a good minute to spend with ourselves we ever we’re free from them. When happiness supersedes, it seems as if life is not real so we look for the fault line in God’s abundance and sit on the crack until we crack. This ensures that we remain trapped in the gauze suffering like a smudgy smear to the wires of the past – that which was once an anxious future, now a regrettable brook that lies abandoned by a lost road, together with the rest of its friends.
We carry these heavy logs on our reclined backs, as others carry that jolt in the nerve that sparks the fear of what is to come. That removes one so effortlessly from the chair of the present moment into a spinning vomit in the pit of a whale’s stomach. And we stay this way fixed in our pains and fleeting gains, wanting to change. More wanting and wanting but little doing to turn the wheels.
I cross the border to the side of doers, and face the world before our eyes, and ask that we destroy the borders, that we scatter the ash onto the ground. That we collectively decide to act on our problems when they face us as they face as. To give to the earth as we have taken and to find that much more will be given to us. To find in kindness and compassion that inner world, and to alter that doomed creeping in fate, that inevitable black hole that cannot meet us if we do not let it.
I eat and drink poison. I watch and think about poison. I speak and act like a poisonous viral thing. I meet my poisonous friends and we indulge in our poisonous conversations and encourage each other’s poisonous ways.
We want change. We want and want.
We remain the same.
Retreat into yourself and find a world where there is nothing but the purest of intention for all that is. A world where the greed of life is the multivitamin of the soul. Where one sits alone with a fullness of life and, sat in this self-replenishing Eden, loneliness cannot exist simultaneously with the thickness of this warm enveloping feeling. Only one can take your time at a time. And when you have seen all these pleasurable pain fade with the coming of the light, you, my friend, will delight to have died in life twice!
Retreat in to yourself and find a world too full to write about least I take away or diminish any element of its rich state. There is aliveness in the bones and the spirit when there is aliveness around you and, when this aliveness lays imbued in your state of existence – your interaction, reaction and perception to all that is.
If it feels like a chain, break it. When the walls mock Vesuvius, mold the tools at your disposal to challenge that erupting wave of tribulations. There is always a way. Do not sleep in the bed of the lacking mind. Lift the anchors of regret and dread, let the sails face the side of the question mark, and set sail in to its perplexed seas.
Knowing all this, I myself struggle from time to time. Yet I still believe that it is not my fate to sit rooted in pain. That action lies in my hands. That these terrible times will not last.
When I do retreat, if find this busting universe and when I do retreat from this universe, I find too whatever lies for me on the other side. Nonetheless, it is my action that shapes my fate. It is my thought about myself and the world around me, whether I see it as an oceanic wonderland or a pity pit, that launches the satellite of my dreams. Luck has always been on our side. Lack has always been an option be it material, spiritual, mental or emotional. We can make different choices that serve the advancement of human existence in accordance with the law of nature, that serves the expansion and preservation of humanity into pollinating the greater collective consciousness and hence, human experience and blissful spirituality experienced by each individual. And we can see, once and for all, that there is no individual.
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